Thursday, December 29, 2011

Before You Jump Off: READ THIS - The Jump Off Manifesto written by BlakSmith



The Jump Off Manifesto

by BlakSmith



On the cusp of greatness is what we proclaim to be
But at the same time enjoying the process yet waiting impatiently
You see there are four of us but the goal is uniform
Deviating from the norm since we were born is what we’ve been on
So why not continue the trend and share our talents with the masses
In a world where they say slow motion is better than no motion we refuse to move like molasses
BlakSmith been known to say things that go over your head from time to time
But my goal is to challenge you to open your third eye if you feel inclined
That Dude named Dave usually gut punches you from left field with his antics
But if you rewind and listen closely his views are just as poignant, it’s merely semantics
JD can be classified as the chameleon of the crew
Versatility is his virtue as he voices his opinion from various points of view
Last but not least, Johnny Dangerous brings the heat
With no preparation needed, he works best on his feet
Jokes for days but quick to flip it on the conscious tip
Now Voltron is complete and any style we will flip
In other words our style is no style which makes it a mystery
Sit back, relax and prepare to Jump Off as we make history






Saturday, December 24, 2011

#TEAMJUMPOFF Live on Generation Bizzle Radio/L.A. Talk Live!!! Dec. 23, 2011


Listen to #TEAMJUMPOFF LIVE on Generation Bizzle Radio. Thanx to everyone at LA Talk Live! Our segment starts a little over an hour in to the show.  We hit a little sports talk and then a hilarious segment about "Things That Barak Obama Wishes He Could Say".  Special shout outs to Bizzle, Daniesha Danielle, and Johnny Muthafuckin Mack!!! So click below to check it out and support The Jump Off as we branch out to the West Coast!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The Jump Off on Slam Internet Radio - Dec. 18, 2011 (REARVIEW MIRROR SHOW, 2011 RECAP)


With 2011 coming to a close in just a few days, #TEAMJUMPOFF presents our annual "Rearview Mirror" show.  Tonight the team recaped anything and everything that happened in 2011 and did it in a way that only your boys at The Jump Off can!!!  Special thanks for Rod Blagovoich and Chris Bosh for calling in to the show as well!!!  This will also be the last show from The Jump Off this year so HAPPY HOLIDAYS and we will see you again for our next show on Sunday Jan. 8, 2012!!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Jump Off Podcast - Dec. 15, 2011 - Quickies (Kids Sending Parents To Jail, Gay Penguins Pt. 3, Lesbian Sperm Donors, A.I.D.S. Sike Out, Belt Lenders, and Faking Deaths To Get Off Work)


If its Thursday, its time of Jump Off Quickies!! This week, there is no Blaksmith, so JD and That Dude went off the deep end!  They discussed, Kids not going to school and their parents having to pay the price, A third followup on the legendary Gay Penguins of Toronto, A politician who hates same sex marriage but donates sperm to lesbians, A woman gets shot for playing a practical joke involving HIV, Schools lending belts to students who sag their pants, And one man who went way too far just to get time off work! Get at us:  Search for our fan page on Facebook, follow each of us on Twitter: @JumpOffPodcast, @TheJumpOff_JD, @DaveJumpOff, email us at thejumpoffpodcast@yahoo.com, and listen to the podcast on iTunes and Podomatic.com and weekly from 7pm to 9pm CST on SlamInternetRadio.com You can always hit us at our official site: www.thejumpoffpodcast.com JUMP OFF!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Before You Jump Off: READ THIS - What Does Dwight Howard Do Now???



"What Does Dwight Howard Do Now???"


By David A. Jordan (aka That Dude Named Dave)



The crazy summer for the NBA has now carried over into winter, but not the "Nuclear Winter" that David Stern predicted when the last talks for the CBA failed.  Once the owners and players agreed to the new deal, the only problems for teams was going to be able to fill out rosters and get teams ready in 2 weeks for the fast pace 66 game season.  Boy, we were all wrong!!!  The new deal that was supposed to be able to help teams keep their own major superstars - not happening.  As soon as a deal was in a place, the next major story plots was where is Chris Paul and Dwight Howard going. 

Well, Thursday night turned the NBA to the next great soap opera - "As The Ball Turns" when a deal was in place to send Chris Paul to the Lakers.  The Houston Rockets would receive Pau Gasol.  The New Orleans Hornets were going to receive Lamar Odom from the Lakers, Louis Scola, Kevin Martin, Goran Dragic from the Houston Rockets along with a first round pick that the Rockets received from a previous deal.  I am not a Lakers fan, but this was a great deal!!!!  Everyone knows that Chris Paul is leaving after this year, whether it is via trade or free agency.  He is not staying in New Orleans and the pieces they are receiving actually makes the team better.  But as we all have seen and read, David Stern has blocked the trade literally making this is worse move in his tenure as the commissioner.  This is what happens when the NBA owns a team.  We were bound to see a conflict of interest sooner or later, and now, it is sooner.

This has now lead to Chris Paul and the players union getting ready to file a lawsuit against the NBA.  The NBA is not even allowing Chris Paul to be traded to any team at this time which will make this a legal and PR nightmare for the league.

So with all this being said, what does Dwight Howard do now???

There were talks of him going to the Knicks but that is basically dead since on Friday, Tyson Chandler has agreed in principle to sign with New York.  Cross the Knicks off the pad.  For the moment, we can cancel the Lakers as they are caught in limbo with a possible lawsuit that could lead to Paul possible going LA after all, but we don't know yet.  What about the Nets?  Well, we think we can mark them off the list since the Nets owner and GM met with Howard without telling the Magic.  Can we say a possible TAMPERING charge??  Not good at all.  With that looming, it looks like the Nets will move forward in trying to sign Nene.  Cancel Brooklyn from the list.

What teams is left for Dwight???  Well, if he is all about winning, being a bigger star, and getting that nice contract, there are only 2 logical teams left.  The Clippers and the Bulls.

Yes, I am saying the "other" LA team.  For the Clippers, it is not the Lakers, but it is still LA, hell, they both play in the same stadium.  The Clippers have the cap space and young players to make a deal work in a sign and trade.  A core of Eric Gordon, who I feel is on his way to becoming a real stud in the NBA, Howard, and Blake Griffin would be scary for the western Conference.  The oldest player in that group is Howard at 26.  He will get his wish to be in sun shine state and market himself to do more movies - (He had a small role in Just Right with Common and Queen Latifah).  They may not win now, but it is a playoff team that will be able to add small pieces to contend in a few years if they make the right moves.  It is the Clippers, that is why I say "IF" they make the right move.

This leaves me to Chicago.  I am not saying this since I am from the Windy City, but if Dwight really wants to be a STAR he thinks he is, play for championships, and get paid, this is the town to do it.  I don't want anyone tell me he will not come here for the cold weather.  He was considering going to the Nets which will be moving to Brooklyn next year.  The winters are just as bad there as in Chicago, NOT BUYING THE COLD WEATHER THEORY!!!  Howard and Derrick Rose would make the best point guard-center combo since Kareem and Magic.  As far as marketing, if you are a star in Chicago, you are a star EVERYYWHERE!!!  Case in point, look at Dennis Rodman from the time period of 1995-1998 when he came to Chicago through a trade from San Antonio.  He was the third member in the big three with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen and he was selling books and making movies.  They may have been bad movies with Jean Claude Van Dam, but he was making millions outside the court while winning championships on the court.  At one point, when you talked about the Bulls during this time, it was about how much they were winning and what Rodman did next.

What kind of deal makes this work?  Well, we know the principle would have to include Joakim Noah, Luol Deng, Taj Gibson, and a first round pick the Bulls own from Charlotte which will easily be a lottery selection.  For Orlando, it would be Howard and they may insist to take Hedo's dead body.  This can be tweaked but look at the Magic's lineup:  Jameer Nelson, JJ Reddick, Deng, Gibson, Noah.  It is not a championship team, but that looks so much better than nothing at all.  I will honestly say with how the East is, this team will be a seventh seed.

For the Bulls:  Rose, Carlos Boozer, Ronnie Brewer, Howard, and whoever is signed to start at the two guard position.  Off the bench, the Bulls still have CJ Watson, Kyle Korver, and Omer Asik.  If I am Howard, I am licking my lips like LL Cool J to think who will stop this team.  With the way Tyson Chandler handled the Heat in the NBA Finals, imagine what Howard could do with this team???  Lebron James would not have a hairline anymore once he steps on the court with Bulls.

People say he doesn't want to play second fiddle to Derrick Rose.  I honestly think he will be playing second fiddle with Blake Griffin if the Clippers make a move.  Everyone sees Blake Griffin on commercials and on TV everywhere now and it was only his ROOKIE year last year!!  Dwight is the best center in the league, but with the growth of Blake, I see Howard taking a backseat if Blake continues to dunk on people by an average of 3 per game. I am not saying Howard will be invisible, but I think his status is the same with the Clippers like it is with the Magic now.

So - why not Chicago Dwight???  You can be bigger than Dennis Rodman was here.  He can make all the bad movies like Dennis and act like you know Kung Fu.  He will be in every major commercial nationwide.  He will have a chance to compete for Championships for the next 5-7 years since Derrick Rose is only 23 and became the youngest MVP in the league last year.  He will still be able to average 20 points a game, 12 rebounds a game, 3 blocks - not to mention, the women here are not that bad.  Just ask Julius Peppers and Brian Urlacher for the Bears.  They will show him the way.

So do me this favor Dwight, call Otis Smith - your GM.  Tell him to call Gar Foreman of the Bulls and see what can happen.  I always thought basketball players cared about getting money, living in a nice city, winning, and having a great social life - (not in that order but you get the point).  Now because of Joakim Noah's extension, he cannot be moved no earlier than January 15, so just hang tight for a month in Orlando.

So Dwight, with limited options, what are you going to do now???

Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Jump Off on Slam Internet Radio - Dec. 11, 2011 (Gloria Cain, Dr. Phil, Herman Cain, Ghetto Names, Chia Chocha)


On this episode of The Jump Off on Slam Internet Radio, Herman Cain, Gloria Cain stop by to work on their 69 issues with a little help from Dr. Phil.  Later in the show, the fellas discuss what a "ghetto" or unusual name does to a child and their prospects for the future.  Then close the show with Blaksmith sharing his idea for a new product...The "Chia Chocha"! Special thanks to Chadalac for being a our special guest jumper!!! Tune in and JUMP OFF!!!


Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Jump Off Podcast - Dec. 8, 2011 - Quickies (Green Bitches, Starbucks Food n Liquor, MMA Beatdown, Random Hip Hop References, Grigory's Mom Slangin Meth, And More Dumb Criminals).mp3



Happy Thursday!!! We back at it again with our weekly Quickies. This week JD, Blacksmith, and That Dude begin by answering the age old question: Would you travel 600 million light years to get some ass? They also discuss a 74 yr old, meth dealing college professor and her son Grigory, what happens when you fuck with the wrong guy aka "Who Shot Ya", Starbucks getting into selling beer and wine, how welfare can help you live in a million dollar home, and a 9 yr old boy who gets suspended from school for flirting with his teacher. Nobody does it better than us so make sure you are everywhere we are: Search for our fan page on Facebook, follow each of us on Twitter: @JumpOffPodcast, @TheJumpOff_JD, @DaveJumpOff, email us at thejumpoffpodcast@yahoo.com, and listen to the podcast on iTunes and Podomatic.com and weekly from 7pm to 9pm CST on SlamInternetRadio.com You can always hit us at our official site: www.thejumpoffpodcast.com JUMP OFF!!!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Jump Off on Slam Internet Radio - Dec. 4, 2011 (Muppets, Herman Cain, Gloria Cain, Syracuse University, Black Friday Wrap Up)


If you missed out on listening to our show live, you can check out the replay of your boys from The Jump Off right here and now!!!!  #TEAMJUMPOFF discussed black friday purchases and the craziness that ensued, the Syracuse University scandal, Special thanks to Ms. Gloria Cain for coming in studio with us and Mr. Herman Cain for calling in to the show as well.   Later we debuted a new segment called "THAT SHIT CRAY" and our weekly segment, "Whats On Your Mind" which featured some commentary from the Muppets.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Jump Off Podcast - Dec. 1, 2011 - Quickies (Wyclef Stealing, T.I. Dissing Gays, Conrad Go County, Brain Myths, Money From 1940, Fat Kids and Droppin Cain)


#TEAMJUMPOFF is back with more Quickies.  The squad goes in on Conrad's sentencing, A 200 pound third grader, Wyclef stealing donations, TI going to bat for Tracy Morgan, Myths about our brain functioning, Lil Boosie copping more time, T-Boz is broke, And a man repaying a debt from over 50 years ago.  Dont know where or how to find The Jump Off:  Search for our fan page on Facebook, follow each of us on Twitter: @JumpOffPodcast, @TheJumpOff_JD, @DaveJumpOff, email us at thejumpoffpodcast@yahoo.com, and listen to the podcast on iTunes and Podomatic.com and weekly from 7pm to 9pm CST on SlamInternetRadio.com You can always hit us at our official site: www.thejumpoffpodcast.com JUMP OFF!!!